Batangueno nga are?? (katawa...)

again from forwarded email, ewan kung maiintindihan ng iba hehehe


Airplane Crashes in Batangas
MEDIA: Manong, pakilarawan po ang nangyari.

LOLO: Ala eh, nakow, garne ga utoy...
Kakaalmusal ko laang, gayak
ako'y sisinsay sa kahanggan, ay natan-awan ko yaan sa alapaap ay nagsisilab.
Bago sumirok ng papagay-on na kala mo'y papatak. Ginagaling na laang
at sa sukalang areh sumugba, ay kung sa kabayanan ga, ay di panay mga
utas!

MEDIA: Ho?


Vehicular Accident in Batangas
MEDIA: 'Lo, kayo daw po'ng saksi?

LOLO: Ay uwoh! Ika'y pumarne dine sa silong. Kung ako pa naman ang dadais sa iyo para magsalaysay ay sulong!

MEDIA: 'Sensya na po sa abala.

LOLO: Ako'y naka-ungkot laang dine at karakaraka'y ako'y nagitla sa busina.
May mag-inang hasing-hasi pa ng paghihikap ay gab-eng gab-e na!
Bakin ga aring dyip ay saksakan ng tulin???
Ay di ako'y palakat na sa mag-inang di naiingli!
Aba'y maiipit na'y naka-umis pa!
Kainaman….
Hayown!
Sa pag-iwas ng dyip ay sumalya sa tarangka, tiklap ang tapaludung lasa ko'y kawangki ng nilamukos na kiche.
Pagkakabugnot ng drayber!
Ngalngal e!

MEDIA: Ano raw?

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